i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
either way he was missing a nipple.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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