i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
