So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
