He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
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