There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
