dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
