If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
