i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
