I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
