yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
