bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
