Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
