Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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