You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
