Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
