dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
