is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
