did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Randomize
