Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
