i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
