Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im six kinds of drunk right now
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
