I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
