ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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