If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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