Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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