Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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