i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
