i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
