I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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