i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
