Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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