Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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