my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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