i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
