I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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