420 ftw
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
