Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
