If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
