Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
