he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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