What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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