She said her name was "party"
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
