I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
