is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
