so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
