Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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