Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
