I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
