She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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