I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
