if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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