This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
