is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
