Don't worry. I has chaperone.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
